Identity
by CinamonRolls
Summary: He was known as the Black Reaper of CCG. Strong, unbeatable. But underneath, who excactly he is? Image credit to Idolsuicida. Fixed


He was known as the Black Reaper. Strong, fearless, unbeatable. But, who excactly he is?

* * *

He was once Kaneki Ken.

The boy who didn't remember his father. The boy whose mother died because of her own sister's selfishness. The boy who was craving to be loved. The boy who was lonely.

The boy who had no one

But in the middle of his loneliness, Hide came. He became his ray of sunshine. His bestfriend. He was precious to him.

Life was okay after that. He was happy.

Then he met Kamishiro Rize.

The woman who was really pretty. The woman who shared his like of books. The woman who stole his heart. The woman who turned out to be a ghoul. The woman who brought tragedies upon him.

From this point, his life has changed forever.

He couldn't eat his favorite hamburger anymore. He started to find that human's scent alluring. He craved human flesh.

He had turned into a ghoul as an experiment.

He tried to resist. For he didn't want to be a ghoul. He didn't want to think of himself as anything, except human.

He was feeling lost. He didn't know what to do.

And then, he met people who cared for him. The welcomed him and called him their family.

He found a place he could call home, Anteiku.

And for once again, he was happy.

Sadly, that happiness didn't last long.

Aogiri came, and he was kidnapped. He was tortured. He watched people die. Because of his weakness. Because of him.

But he tried to endure. For he didn't want anyone to take his place. To take the pain.

He held tight to the words his mother used to tell him. "It's better to be hurt than to hurt others". He clung desperatly to it

Then, he reached his snapping point. He realized that if he stayed kind, and powerless, he will be just devoured by , he accepted the fact that he was no longer human. He accepted that he had became a ghoul.

Actually, he was neither. He wasn't human or ghoul.

He adopted another believe. "The strong devour the weak".

To protect the ones he cared From Aogiri tree, from CCG, he detached himself from them. And he thought they were safe.

After Touka punched him on that bridge, he realized that what she said was right. He did all of those things for his own selfishness. Because he didn't want to be left alone.

But then he thought it was alright. As long as they're safe.

Oh how wrong he was.

The place he called home was flatten to the ground by the CCG. He lost his bestfriend. He lost the people in Anteiku. He losf his family. He lost the ones he cared.

And then, he met the Reaper. He thought he was desperate and afraid to fight him, to die. But then he realized, that he was secretly relieved. For he thought that finally his tragedy would finally meet it's end. And he wanted to die in style

So, he fought him.

And he felt pain from his eyes.

Before he closed his eyes, he thought, 'finally'.

After that, he couldn't see anything

* * *

He was once Sasaki Haise

He had his family. He had his mother, Akira. He had his father, Arima. And he had the quinx who he loved and cared like his own children.

He loved them, even though it was just a make-believe family.

People thought he was happy.

When he was asked if he was happy, he answered yes. While touching his chin. A habit he would di if he was lying. He lied

He wasn't happy.

There were holes in his seemengly happy and perfect life.

He couldn't remember his life twenty years prior. He didn't know his own parents. His real parents. God, he didn't even know his real name

And there are a child and a white haired man inside his head that demanded to give their body back. To be bring back Kaneki.

He was confused.

So, he asked Akira. He asked Arima. But nobody wanted to give him the answer.

And slowly, but surely, he got the answer.

Not from his 'parents', but from other people.

From the ghoul Serpent. The man he called Nishio-senpai.

From that cafe :Re. And the barista and the waitress. The beautiful gave him that sad smile. And there was the coffe. The coffee that brought nostalgic feeling and tears to him.

And the girl, Fueguchi, who saved him when he fought Takizawa. The girl who called him big brother. The girl who risked her own life for him.

At that time, he tought if this girl was willing to save him this bad, then whoever he was before, this Kaneki, must have been a good person.

He also asked that weird purple-haired man. He said he didn't know who Kaneki was. But from his expression and eyes, Haise knew he knew this Kaneki. But something was holdibg him back from saying the truth.

And in the Tsukiyama Externination operation, when he fought the One-eyed Owl, he finally got the full answer. He remembred everything

He wasn't Sasaki Haise. He was Kaneki Ken.

The boy who was tranformed into a ghoul as an experiment.

The boy who lost his ray of sunshine, his bestfriend.

The boy who lost the ones he cared.

The boy who was abused by his own mother. The mother who he thought and remembered was gentle and caring.

The boy who was craving to be loved.

The boy whose life was a tragedy.

So, he bid his goodbye to Sasaki Haise, and ended his sweet dream.

And he once again accepted that he wasn't human. Nor ghoul. He was in between.

So, he fought the God. The God who said that she loved him. But the god itself didn't know how to love. What a stupid god.

Yoshimura, Anteiku's manager, once asked him to save her. To save his daughter. But why did he have to save a trash like her?

And he fended off the God himself. Because of it, he got a promotion. He was an associate special class investigator now. But it came with expensive price.

He remembered who he really is.

He remembered his childhood that he purposedly forgot.

He lost one of his children.

He quit being the Quinx's mentor.

And now, he was known as the Black Reaper of CCG. Strong, unbeatable.

And he asked himself, "Who am I?"

"Who I was fightig for?"

People called him Sasaki Haise. But his name, his _real_ name, was Kaneki ken.

He fought the CCG, but now he is a CCG investigator. He fought _for_ CCG.

So, who actually he is?

He didn't know the answer anymore.

* * *

Tadaa. I finished it. Thank you for the people who read my fisrt fanfic. I really appreciate it. I'm happy to know that people really read my story. And please kindly review this fanfic so I can imrove my writing. 3


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